


Cut a friend in half (get closer to his heart)

by bigtoasty



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga), Weeds
Genre: M/M, Other, dont do drugs its uncool, especially if you live in a third world country like me dont support criminal drug trafficking, i'll call your mom, i've met her she's very nice, ryo is a weed, tagged this as other because devilman/weed is not something you can easily define, this is not pro drugs propaganda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-18
Packaged: 2019-03-20 15:26:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13720563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bigtoasty/pseuds/bigtoasty
Summary: Dicey gave me this prompt "ok here it goes: crybaby/devil, the devil is a weed and the crybaby is a gardener"i wanted to use some original devilman ova dub references but i forgot and what is done is done





	Cut a friend in half (get closer to his heart)

Akira devilmancrybaby was a lonely boy. He'd often wander around his neighborhood looking for new friends, and yet no one would extend a hand to him and invite him to shoot some hoops. "Why is that" akira devilmancrybaby wondered while wandering. Then he remembered he could turn into a huge monster and kill people with his talons so maybe that was why. It was hard to tell.

One sunny afternoon, akira devilmancrybaby was doing his usual melancholic wandering when he stumbled across a poster that said "gardener needed". It was a very intriguing poster, for it did not have an address or phone number that you could use for reference, and yet akira devilmancrybaby knew exactly where he needed to go because the plot needed him to. He strode fiercely towards the house around the corner and there he saw, in front of the house, lying on the grass, a pair of rubber gloves, shears, and one single weed in the middle of a otherwise perfectly mowed lawn. 

"This is weird" akira devilmancrybaby said out loud.

"Yeah it's pretty fucked up" said the weed.

Akira devilmancrybaby gasped "What the fuck!"

"Three people have passed by already and they all left as soon as I started talking but you seem highkey like an idiot so thats promising" said the weed. "It was pretty mean of them to just leave"

"You're a weed! People smoke you!" 

"No, wrong weed. Also drugs are uncool" the weed replied "My name is Ryo Actuallysatan and i'm dancing on the sand"

"You're a weed" akira devilmancrybaby repeated through his permanent eyeliner 

"And a professor, and actually satan, once I was an angel but that's a given. I've been a 70s high schooler who could drive and operate machine guns too" ryo actuallysatan bragged because he had a huge ego "And also btw you should kill me real quick because i'm killing the other plants and also maybe in other timelines i killed a bunch of people too but my motivations were debatable so maybe its ok"

Akira devilmancrybaby started crying for no other reason than this show is called crybaby so i guess SOMEONE has to cry every episode. "I'm so sad about this because I'm a senstive boy with feelings and also you're lowkey hot"

"I'm a plant this time around so thats kinda weird even for you" ryo actuallysatan mcweederson stated

"Yeah well nobody's perfect" akira devilmancrybaby quoted his inspiration, hannah montana.

Akira devilmancrybaby put his rubber gloves on, because safety first, and picked up the shears. Carefully he cut the weed. He (i) asked himself (myself) if that's how you remove weeds because he (i) had no idea.

Ryo actuallysatan was dead and that was sad so he cried again the end.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for coming to my ted talk i've actually never seen a weed before i hope this was evocative for you


End file.
